Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others
Create Thriving Relationships and Personal Success
with a Powerful New Way to Understand People
A 7-module self-paced video course taught by Steven Kessler, MFT
Therapist, Teacher, and Author of The 5 Personality Patterns
Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others
Create Thriving Relationships and Personal Success with a Powerful New Way to Understand People
a 7-module self-paced video course taught by Steven Kessler, MFT,
Therapist, Teacher, and Author of The 5 Personality Patterns
Your past is still stuck in your body. It still controls your life.
It's time to Free Yourself.
Of course, you want your work and your personal relationships to bloom into joy and ease. And you want to make a big contribution to Life.
But things don't always go that way. Sometimes what other people do and say is hard to understand. Sometimes it even seems like they're living in a different world. And just understanding your own feelings and needs can be confusing.
The problem is that you're caught in patterns of automatic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They started out as ways to feel safer when you were young, but then got so conditioned into your body that now they control everything, from how you perceive to how you feel to how you behave. In fact, they control your life.
And you're not alone. Everyone's personality has been shaped by a few childhood safety strategies that gradually became so automatic that now they control their whole life. As we grow up, the strategies that we adopted to keep us safe gradually begin to confine and limit us. What once kept us safe becomes our prison cell.
So we live our lives caught in a prison that we don't even know is there. We feel caught somehow, but we can't see what limits us, so we just think “That's how I am.”
But you don't have to stay caught in your prison cell. You don't have to let those unconscious patterns control you for the rest of your life. You can learn about the 5 personality patterns and see which ones are running your life. And you can discover how to get out of your patterns and open up once again to the freedom of being present in the moment.
You will step onto that path when you decide to attend the Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others course. Each module will deepen your understanding of the 5 safety strategies and the personality patterns that grow out of them. You'll discover which patterns you get caught in and how to know when you've gone into pattern. You'll begin learning the skills you need to get out out of pattern and come back to being present.
And you can immediately apply your new knowledge everywhere in your life. Suddenly, it will seem like you have x-ray vision. You'll be able to see what's going on inside those around you -- how they change as they become distressed, what safety strategies they employ, and what they need to feel safer. You'll find yourself able to deal with them more effectively and communicate with them more successfully. Instead of feeling scared or angry or judgmental, you may even find yourself feeling compassion for them.
Others who took this course have reported that it shifted them from self-judgment to self-love. Or saved their marriage. Or led to success in their business or profession.
You can have those benefits, too. You can learn what's really happening inside yourself and others. You can learn the skills you need to cultivate a stable, grounded presence and develop emotional maturity.
It's not rocket science. It's just knowledge and practice. But you need a map that shows you where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others gives you that map and that knowledge.
What people are saying about Steven's work . . .
"This Course will change your life."
Danielle Eisenberg
Relationship Coach
“This course offers so much insight into our behavior. I've been reading Psychology for years trying to understand myself, and I learnt more on this course than I learnt in years of reading."
Máirtín in Ireland
"This is a must for Leaders in gaining self mastery and the ability to understand and relate to others in a powerful, effective way."
J Kellert, Ph.D
The Conscious Leadership Center
What people are saying about Steven's work . . .
"This course will change your life."
Danielle Eisenberg
Relationship Coach
"This ... is a must for Leaders in gaining self mastery and the ability to understand and relate to others in a powerful, effective way."
J Kellert, Ph.D
The Conscious Leadership Center
"A great life tool. Everyone could benefit from this knowledge."
Ona Cocozza
EFT Practitioner, Esthetician, CMT
“Steven was an excellent instructor with tremendous insight and willingness to help. Bravo!
Fran Friel
Barbara Brennan Practitioner
Greater Connection Through Streaming Video
This video connection is easy to use and will greatly increase your learning and transformation. And all sessions are recorded so you can watch and re-watch them at your own pace.
Here's What You'll Learn
During this fun, exciting course, you'll discover:
- the 5 ways people try to stay safe
- how each of the 5 patterns develops
- which patterns you go into when distressed
- how to recognize the patterns in others
- what different people need and how to help them get it
- how to communicate and work with them successfully
- practices to keep you centered, stable, and strong
"It's like having x-ray vision!"
During the Course, you'll explore 7 modules:
Module 1: How Personality Forms
How the 5 Safety Strategies become the 5 Personality Patterns
We will begin by exploring what happens inside people when they get distressed, how they habitually respond to try to feel safer, and how those habits shape their entire experience of life.
In module 1 you'll discover:
- the 5 main safety strategies people use
- how the safety strategies develop into personality patterns
- how each pattern becomes self-reinforcing
- 2 practices to keep you centered
Module 2: Flee → The Leaving Pattern
“This place scares me. I want to go home.”
The incoming spirit's first task is to settle into the body and attach to it, a process known as Embodiment. If the spirit doesn't feel safe here, it keeps bouncing out of the body. This derails the process of Embodiment, which makes it hard to be here in a human body, but easy to leave.
In module 2 you'll discover:
- the Gifts of this pattern
- the real reason some people are 'highly sensitive'
- what makes the physical world seem so scary to them
- how they use leaving to protect themselves
- how embodiment is their key to finally feel safe here
- practices to help you ground and embody
Module 3: Connect & Please → The Merging Pattern
“I can never get full. I’m not enough. Love will solve everything.”
After coming into the body, the next task is Taking In food and love from others. If, in childhood, there wasn’t enough, a person can get stuck in this stage, still trying to get everything they need from others.
In module 3 you'll discover:
- the Gifts of this pattern
- why people who do this pattern are so focused on talking and being close
- how they got to be so good at connecting with people
- why they get stuck in "I can't! You do it for me."
- when they shift into "I can" and overdo it
- how core and self-care are their keys to safety and success
- practices to help you develop core, self-care, and healthy boundaries
Module 4: Hunker Down & Hide → the Enduring Pattern
“You can't make me. Leave me alone.”
After Taking In, our next developmental task is Putting Out, in the form of self-expression and self-action. If we weren't allowed to say 'No' or be different from our parents, we can get stuck here, hunkered down, but unable to express ourselves, take action, or succeed at anything.
In module 4 you'll discover:
- the Gifts of this pattern
- why they are so deeply grounded and strong
- why people who do this pattern want so much space around them
- how they get stuck in resisting, and then feel heavy and resentful
- how claiming and filling their space is their key to safety and success
- practices to help you claim and fill your space
Module 5: Inflate & Fight → The Aggressive Pattern
"There’s no safety anywhere. It’s a jungle out there.”
Our next developmental task is Trusting Others. If our parents cannot hold us with both love and strength, or if our trust is betrayed and our love is used against us, we may swear off trust and love and turn to power for a sense of safety. If we get stuck there, we lose our sense of connection and belonging, and the world becomes a lonely battlefield.
In module 5 you'll discover:
- the Gifts of this pattern
- why people who do this pattern are so focused on power and dominance
- how they got to be so good at leading, fighting, and getting their own way
- why they get stuck in "I'm alone here" and "I have to do it all"
- the benefits and cost of being highly charged
- how feeling held and contained by something big, strong and good is their path back
- practices to help you retrieve your scattered attention
Module 6: Tighten & Perform → The Rigid Pattern
"I am my Performance. So are You.”
If we are loved only for our performance and correctness, and not for our hearts and our selves, we tend to lose touch with our inner life and focus only on our performance. Outwardly, we become attractive and successful, but we do not develop our inner guidance, our capacity for Trusting Self. Our thinking, feelings, and actions become stiff and rule-bound.
In module 6 you'll discover:
- the Gifts of this pattern
- why people who do this pattern are so focused on being right, and correct
- how they got to be so good at details, organizing, and performing
- why they get stuck in black and white, right-wrong, and good-bad thinking
- why feelings and spontaneity can scare them
- how learning to feel their way through life is their path back to authenticity
- practices to help you soften that inner contraction and have more fun
Module 7: Putting it All Together
Primary and Secondary Patterns
Getting Out of Pattern & Shifting into Presence
In module 7 you'll discover:
- that people have both primary and secondary patterns
- how to discern which patterns you do
- practices to keep you centered, stable, and strong
- a 5 second re-centering practice
- the 4 Basic Energy Skills everyone needs to be a healthy adult
- 6 different ways to get yourself out of a pattern and back to presence
It’s more than a Course,
It’s a Community!
You'll be invited to join a private facebook community that's just for students of the personality patterns. There you can ask questions, discuss what you're learning, and share your discoveries.
Free Bonuses You'll Receive
In addition to Steven’s transformative 7-week course, you’ll also receive these powerful bonus materials. These bonus selections complement the course — and take your understanding and practice to an even deeper level.
From Pattern to Presence
an audio discussion of the 5 personality patterns
featuring Steven Kessler and Anodea Judith
Interview with Kelly Blaser
an interview for her DharmaBridge Training on using the 5 Personality Patterns in coaching
Understanding Yourself & Others
an Interview with Tanya Lynn for her Sistership Circles podcast
Using EFT with the 5 Patterns
a short interview on Empire Radio on how to integrate this map of personality with Emotional Freedom Technique
Free Bonuses You'll Receive
In addition to Steven’s transformative 7-week course, you’ll also receive these powerful bonus materials. These bonus selections complement the course — and take your understanding and practice to an even deeper level.
From Pattern to Presence
an audio discussion of the 5 personality patterns
featuring Steven Kessler and Anodea Judith
Interview with Kelly Blaser
an interview for her DharmaBridge Training on using the 5 Personality Patterns in coaching
Understanding Yourself & Others
an Interview with Tanya Lynn for her Sistership Circles podcast
Using EFT with the 5 Patterns
a short interview on Empire Radio on how to integrate this map of personality with Emotional Freedom Technique
How You Will Benefit
You'll discover:
- which patterns you get caught in
- practices to shift yourself back to being present
- how to recognize which patterns others are caught in
- how to communicate with them successfully
- how to work with them more efficiently
After completing the course, you'll get a
Certificate of Completion
to frame or display on your website.
Previous students report that this work has changed their lives. Their personal and professional lives bloom, their clients love it, and everything in life becomes easier.
"It's like having x-ray vision!"
Embark on a Life-changing Journey with a Master Guide
Steven Kessler, MFT has been studying people his whole life. For over 30 years, he's been a licensed psychotherapist, studying many different healing modalities and maps of personality, including Character Structure, the Enneagram, NLP, energy work, Thought Field Therapy, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), as well as spending 16 years in the Diamond Heart meditation school.
Since 1984, Steven has taught hundreds of groups and workshops in the U.S. and internationally, helping men and women heal their wounds and grow into their full adult selves. For over 15 years, he has been a student of Lynda Caesara, studying Character Structure, the direct perception of energy, and shamanism in the lineage of Grandfather Two Bears and the Southern Seers tradition.
His bestselling book, The 5 Personality Patterns, lays out a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and relating to them effectively. Stephen M. Johnson, one of the most famous authors in the field, called it “one of the most useful popular psychology books I have ever seen.” Readers email him frequently with stories of how reading it has been a life-changing experience.
When you say “YES” to this healing journey, you’ll:
- Gain deep insights into who you are — and how to express yourself more authentically
- Start to relax the conditioning that has kept you stuck
- Become more comfortable with yourself
- Begin to dismantle the automatic patterns that have been running your life
- Learn how to develop true self-confidence
- Bring more intimacy and depth into your relationships
- Expand your capacity to communicate in a clear and compelling way
- Become more effective in your actions and interactions
- Expand your ability to attract and serve people through your work
- Gain increased clarity about your power and your gifts
- See a clear path toward a more grounded, successful and fulfilling life
What People are Saying
"I have been doing deep healing work with clients for the last 9 years and I integrate the Enneagram, energy work and other somatic practices. Steven has done brilliant and deep work developing and compiling this information in a way that is approachable and also vast. He has obviously put in his time sitting and supporting and studying real humans. This work is a game changer."
MICAH McLAUGHLIN, Naturopathic Practitioner
"Over the years, I have attempted to learn about myself and heal frustrating patterns within myself through studying things like astrology, the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, etc. While I gained bits and pieces from each of those systems, nothing changed my life like learning about the character patterns . . . . As a healthcare provider and a parent, I look forward to a world where this information is more widely accessible to and understood by the general public."
Dr. JEANNIE ACHUFF, ND
"The knowledge I gained form this course has helped me understand my family and friends better. I’m also able to clearly understand the patterns in my clients and serve them in the best possible manner.
I’m so glad that I took this course."
Meenakshi Ramesh, Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner
Here's What You'll Receive . . .
7 90" Sessions of Teaching, Guided Practices, and Q & A with Steven Kessler
Experience a rare opportunity to learn from the internationally known expert and author of the bestselling book The 5 Personality Patterns.
Each video session includes teaching on the subject of the week, an experiential practice to help you shift out of pattern and become more present, and Q & A on the teaching and the practice.
All the sessions are RECORDED so you can listen or re-listen any time.
Exercises and Practices for Each Session
After each lesson, you can practice your new skills to accelerate your learning and integrate that sessions's material.
Video & Audio Recordings of Each Class Session
All of the videos are available for you to stream in high-quality format. Audios of each session are available to stream or download. You never have to worry about missing a session, and you can watch or listen anytime you desire — on your phone, tablet, or computer.
Recordings to Guide You Through the Practices
Each session also includes audio or video recordings guiding you through the new energetic skill that was introduced in that session. You can use the guided practices for as long as you need to get that skill established in your body.
15 PDFs: Including Summaries of Each of the Patterns
PDFs include: The Principles Behind the Patterns, Developmental Stages and the Patterns, Getting Out of Pattern, and 5 PDFs on a pattern. Each PDF on a pattern includes sections on the Energy Flow, Origin, Gifts, Body Signs, Beliefs, Fears, Self-image, Thoughts, Behaviors, Emotions, Interactions with Others, Romance, Communication Style, Difficulties, Task, Signs You're in the Pattern, and Ways to Get Out of Pattern.
A Custom Course Website
You’ll have access to all the course materials and resources via our private, customized Course Website.
A Private Facebook Group
You'll be invited to join a private facebook community that's just for students of the personality patterns. There you can ask questions, discuss what you're learning, and share your discoveries.
4 Bonus Audio Recordings
These bonus selections complement the course — and take your understanding and practice to an even deeper level.
A Certificate of Completion
After completing the course, you'll be able to download a Certificate of Completion to frame or display on your website.
ENROLL NOW FOR
Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others
A self-paced video Course
You can watch and re-watch the recordings anytime and proceed through them at your own pace.
Choose one of the enrollment options below
Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others
1 payment of
$295
Understanding Yourself & Understanding Others
3 payments of
$105
NO RISK GUARANTEE
Absolutely NO RISK Guarantee: This way of seeing people has proven so useful to so many others that I guarantee you'll love it, too! Explore the course for 2 full weeks, and if you find that this material is not useful to you, we'll refund 100% of your tuition.