How to Have Better Relationships
Let the Insights of the
5 Personality Patterns
show you how to create
Thriving Relationships
a new video course taught by
Steven Kessler, MFT
Therapist, Teacher, and Author of
The 5 Personality Patterns
How to Have Better Relationships
Let the Insights of the 5 Personality Patterns
show you how to have Thriving Relationships
a new video course taught by
Steven Kessler, MFT
Therapist, Teacher, and Author of
The 5 Personality Patterns
You can learn to interact skillfully with anyone.
But first you have to understand them,
and then you have to know how to approach them.
Of course, you want all your interactions with others to be easy and happy.
But things don't always go that way. Sometimes what other people do and say is hard to understand. Sometimes it even seems like they're living in a different world.
Many couples have the same fight over and over. It never ends. It's confusing. It's frustrating. They can't figure out:
- how it started
- what it's really about
- how to end it
This can happen in any relationship – family, friends, co-workers – even with people you hardly know.
The problem is that the two of you are caught in different personality patterns, which means you're living in different worlds.
You can't see the problem, though, because you've always seen the world your way. You have now idea how different their world is from yours. And they have no idea how different your world is from theirs.
So you misread each other. Over and over. Cues get missed. Feelings get hurt. And pretty soon you're having that same old fight – again – and neither of you knows how to stop it.
It isn't your fault.
It isn't their fault.
You can't stop it.
But now you can stop it. You can learn about other people's worlds. And you can discover how to communicate with them successfully.
The How to Have Better Relationships course will teach you things about other people that even they don't know. Each module will teach you about the fears and safety strategies that motivate their behavior. Each week you'll discover new ways to approach and talk to them to get what you want.
And you can immediately apply your new skills everywhere in your life. Suddenly, it will seem like you have x-ray vision. You'll be able to see what's going on inside them and what they need to feel safer. You'll find yourself able to deal with them more successfully. Instead of feeling scared or angry or judgmental, you may even find yourself feeling compassion for them.
Others who took this course have reported that it saved their marriage. Or led to success in their business or profession. Or shifted them from self-judgment to self-love.
You can have those benefits, too. You can learn what's really happening inside yourself and others. You can learn the skills you need to stop the endless fights and communicate successfully.
It's not rocket science. It's just knowledge. But you need to know it. How to Have Better Relationships gives you that knowledge.
What people are saying about Steven's work . . .
"This course will change your life."
Danielle Eisenberg
Relationship Coach
"This is a must for Leaders in gaining self mastery and the ability to understand and relate to others in a powerful, effective way."
J Kellert, Ph.D
The Conscious Leadership Center
"This course was pivotal for me. It took me beyond my books and gave me a view into others’ interiors. Wow! What a gift."
Carrie Mazier
Life Coach, Teacher, Writer
Greater Connection Through Streaming Video
This video connection is easy to use and will greatly increase your learning and skill. And all sessions are recorded so you can watch or re-watch them anytime.
Here's What You'll Learn
During this fun, exciting course, you'll learn:
- the 5 ways people try to stay safe
- How those 5 safety strategies become Personality Patterns
- How to recognize each Pattern in yourself and others
- How to approach each Pattern
- How to speak so they will listen
- How to listen so they will talk
- How to re-center yourself when things get hard
- How to relate successfully to anyone
"It's like having x-ray vision!"
You'll explore 7 modules:
Module 1: Discerning Patterns
How the 5 Safety Strategies Shape Us
We begin by exploring what different people fear, how they habitually respond to try to feel safer, and how that habitual response shapes their entire experience of the world.
In module 1 you'll discover:
- the 5 Safety Strategies people use
- how Safety Strategies become Personality Patterns
- that people have both primary and secondary patterns
- how to tell what Pattern a person is caught in now
- a 5 second re-centering practice
Module 2: The Leaving Pattern
“Gotta get away.”
The safety strategy here is to flee, both energetically and physically. The pattern is head-centered and tries to avoid conflict by abandoning the body. But abandoning the body weakens it and makes the physical world seem even scarier.
In module 2 you'll discover:
- what makes the physical world seem so scary to them
- why they use leaving to protect themselves
- how to focus on energy, like they do
- how to approach them in ways they like
- how to stay centered in their presence
Module 3: The Merging Pattern
“It’s all about Love.”
The safety strategy here is to connect with others, to please and appease and get them to like you. The pattern is heart-centered and wants a heart to heart connection to feel safer.
In module 3 you'll discover:
- how they use connecting to protect themselves
- why they talk so much
- how to give them a heart to heart connection
- how to approach them in ways they like
- how to stay centered in their presence
Module 4: The Enduring Pattern
“It’s all about space.”
Their early injury was being invaded and over-controlled, so to feel safer now, they want lots of space around them, without you probing or messing with them. The pattern is belly-centered and tries to protect itself by avoiding interactions.
In module 4 you'll discover:
- why people who do this pattern want so much space
- why they talk so little
- how to honor their space so they will come out more
- how to approach them in ways they like
- how to stay centered in their presence
Module 5: The Aggressive Pattern
“It’s all about power.”
The injury here was to their trust in others, so their safety strategy is to dominate others and command help rather than take the risk of asking for it. The pattern is belly-centered and wants to avoid needs, weakness, and dependency.
In module 5 you'll discover:
- why they are so focused on power and dominance
- how to protect yourself
- how to speak from your core so they will trust you
- how to approach them in ways they like
- how to stay centered in their presence
Module 6: The Rigid Pattern
“It’s all about doing it right.”
The injury here was to their self trust, so their safety strategy is to rely on outside rules and forms for guidance, instead of on their own inner knowing. The pattern is head-centered and tends to ignore personal wants and needs and focus instead on correctness and performance.
In module 6 you'll discover:
- why they get stuck in black and white, right-wrong thinking
- how to manage their Inner Critic so they can hear you
- how to respect their Rules so they will listen to you
- how to approach them in ways they like
- how to stay centered in their presence
Module 7: The Patterns in Romance
How the Patterns Interact in Relationships
Now we bring it all together to understand how the personality patterns interact in romantic relationships.
In module 7 you'll discover:
- how similar patterns interact in romantic relationships
- how different patterns interact in romantic relationships
- 6 different ways to get yourself out of a pattern and back to presence
- how to continually re-center yourself
It’s more than a Course,
It’s a Community!
You'll be invited to join a private Facebook community that's just for students of the personality patterns. There you can share your discoveries, discuss what you're learning, and ask questions.
Get These Free Bonuses
In addition to Steven’s transformative 7-week course, you’ll also receive these powerful bonus teachings. These bonuses complement the course — and take your understanding and practice to an even deeper level.
How to Create Healthy Relationships
an article by Steven Kessler
How to Create Healthy Relationships.pdf
The 6 Levels of Relationship
an article by Steven Kessler
The 6 Levels of Relationship.pdf
Relationships and the Personality Patterns
an Interview with Lee Davy for his 1000 Days Sober podcast
Interview with Christine Hassler
on using the 5 Personality Patterns in coaching and life
Relationships and the Personality Patterns
an Interview for the Remarkable Relationships summit
The Personality Patterns
an Interview with Devaraj Sandberg
Embark on a Life-changing Journey with a Master Guide
Steven Kessler, MFT has been studying people his whole life. For almost 40 years, he's been a licensed psychotherapist, studying many different healing modalities and maps of personality, including Character Structure, the Enneagram, NLP, energy work, Thought Field Therapy, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), as well as spending 16 years in the Diamond Heart meditation school.
Since 1984, Steven has taught hundreds of groups and workshops in the U.S. and internationally, helping men and women heal their wounds and grow into their full adult selves. For over 15 years, he has been a student of Lynda Caesara, studying Character Structure, the direct perception of energy, and shamanism in the lineage of Grandfather Two Bears and the Southern Seers tradition.
His bestselling book, The 5 Personality Patterns, lays out a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and relating to them effectively. Stephen M. Johnson, one of the most famous authors in the field, called it “one of the most useful popular psychology books I have ever seen.” Readers email him frequently with stories of how reading it has changed their lives.
Get These
Free Bonuses
In addition to Steven’s transformative 7-week course, you’ll also receive these powerful bonus teachings. These bonuses complement the course — and take your understanding and practice to an even deeper level.
Relationships and the Personality Patterns
an Interview with Lee Davy for his 1000 Days Sober podcast
Interview with Christine Hassler
on using the 5 Personality Patterns in coaching and life
Relationships and the Personality Patterns
an Interview for the Remarkable Relationships summit
The Personality Patterns
an Interview with Devaraj Sandberg
When you say “YES” to this healing journey, you’ll discover:
- How to recognize the Patterns in yourself and others
- How to approach each Pattern
- How to speak so they will listen
- How to listen so they will talk
- How to continually re-center yourself
- How to relate successfully to anyone
Previous students report that this course has changed their lives.
"It's like having x-ray vision!"
What People are Saying About Steven's work:
"Over the years, I have attempted to learn about myself and heal frustrating patterns within myself through studying things like astrology, the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, etc. While I gained bits and pieces from each of those systems, nothing changed my life like learning about the character patterns . . . . As a healthcare provider and a parent, I look forward to a world where this information is more widely accessible to and understood by the general public."
Dr. JEANNIE ACHUFF, ND
"I am fascinated by how the patterns apply to my clients, myself, my partner, and my family. As someone who does Leaving pattern with an Aggressive/Rigid patterned partner, this course gave me specific tools for relating to my partner and supporting myself. I love Steven's work because it gives me more understanding and compassion for myself and those I love."
Julie K Wood, Transformational Coach
"I have been doing deep healing work with clients for the last 9 years and I integrate the Enneagram, energy work and other somatic practices. Steven has done brilliant and deep work developing and compiling this information in a way that is approachable and also vast. This work is a game changer."
MICAH McLAUGHLIN, Naturopathic Practitioner
Here's What You'll Receive
7 90" Sessions of Teaching, Guided Experiences, and Q & A with Steven Kessler
Experience a rare opportunity to learn from the internationally known expert and author of the bestselling book The 5 Personality Patterns.
Each video session includes teaching on the subject of the week, a guided experience to help you embody the material, and Q & A on the teaching and the experience.
All the sessions are RECORDED so you can listen or re-listen any time.
Real Life Practice and Experience
After each lesson, you’ll be able to apply your new skills in real life to accelerate your learning and integrate your new skills.
6 Recordings to Guide Your Practice
Each time a new skill is taught, you will get an audio recording guiding you through the new skill. You can use the guided practices for as long as you like to establish that skill in your body.
11 PDFs: Including 5 on How to Relate to Each Pattern
PDFs include: The Centering Breath, Discerning Patterns, Each Pattern's Fears and Safety Strategies, Holding Space for Someone, The Patterns in Romance, Getting Out of Pattern, and 5 PDFs on how to relate to a specific pattern. Each of the 5 includes exactly how to approach and communicate with a person caught in that pattern.
A Custom Course Website
You’ll have access to all the course materials and resources on a private, customized Course Website.
A Private Facebook Group
You'll be invited to join a private facebook community that's just for students of the personality patterns. There you can share your discoveries, discuss what you're learning, and ask questions.
6 Bonus Gifts
These bonuses complement the course — and take your understanding and practice to an even deeper level.
ENROLL NOW for
How to Have Better Relationships
A self-paced video Course
You can watch and re-watch the recordings any time and proceed through them at your own pace.
Choose one of the enrollment options below
How to Have Better Relationships
1 payment of
$295
How to Have Better Relationships
3 payments of
$105
NO RISK GUARANTEE
Absolutely NO RISK Guarantee: This way of seeing people has proven so useful to so many others that I guarantee you'll love it, too! Explore the course for 2 full weeks, and if you find that this material is not useful to you, we'll refund 100% of your tuition.